Monday, February 25  

Craig Harper Can't Handle The Truth

If you're a regular reader, like you should be, then you might remember that last week I mentioned Australian motivational speaker and all round nice guy Craig Harper.

I do the right thing by Craig and tell the truth (Scouts Honour!) about when we got together and had lunch. I mean, would I lie about something like that??!

Honesty Schmonesty!

And Craig's the one always talking about honesty, blah, blah, blah.

I get honest on his ass and say he's a "wee little nancy boy" and that him and his mate Johnnie are "2 weedy look punks from the big smoke".

What's so wrong with honesty??

And look what's happened now. Little sensitive Craigy Waigy has just sent me a letter. Boo Hoo ya big baby!

Letter from Craig Harper

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Dear Custard Guts Sinclair,

Nice to hear from you, Spaghetti Arms.

It’s been a while and seriously, I’ve missed you. I always feel better about myself after seeing you. I think it’s a contrast thing. Like the good looking girl who hangs out with her ugly friend.

By the way, how did you get your gut so big and your arms so skinny all at the same time? That’s freaky. You’re a physiological marvel. I might commission the CSIRO to do some kind of study on you.

Anyway, did you finally get your shoulder back in the socket after our arm wrestle? Hope so; it looked pretty painful. Next time I won’t use both fingers, I’ll just use the one. My pinky.

Don’t worrying about crying in front of (your son) Jack; it’s good for men to express emotion. I just wish you didn’t express it for so long, or with such volume.

I also hope that nasty rash of yours has cleared up too – that didn’t look good either. Have you been using the cream? Just remember Champ: cream twice a day, loose fitting cotton shorts and walk like a cowboy. We’ll call you ‘Duke’.

And while I’m handing out advice, you may wanna hit the gym. A lot. Although I strongly oppose performance enhancing drugs, I think that you may have a pretty strong case for some chemical assistance.

By the way congratulations on having a site that’s almost as good as mine. Really. For a man with as many issues and challenges (that’s what we call them now) as you, you’ve done great.

Hugs and Kisses,
Your Buddy, Craig
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For More Advice Like That....... As If You'd Want It

For more advice like that (as if you'd want it!) check out Craig's blog at www.craigharper.com.au.

But don't visit it too often or it might become even more popular than this one. And we can't have that ;o)

Cheers

Brendon "Duke" Sinclair

Labels: craig harper motivational speaker