What You Should

Today I’ve struggled for something to write.

After 20 minutes of staring at the screen I decided to head to a photo library I use and check out the Free Photo of the Week and write a blog post on whatever that image sparks in me.

So this post might be complete rubbish.  Who the hell knows??

Firstly, the image:

They kind of remind me of my 3 kids if you get rid of the smaller girl.  I’m not advocating having her killed – just imagine she’s not there.

A lot of people hate my humour.  Really hate it.  Like that “I’m not advocating having her killed” line – I’ll get hate mail because of that.  It used to worry me.  Now I don’t care.

I went to see a psychologist once (before my son and I did this big bike ride) and he said, based on the info I’d provided/the answers I’d given that essentially I was a “….loud mouth, obnoxious, forward looking idiot who is extroverted and just looking for the next bit of fun. That’s you and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

I gladly accept that I’m all that now.  A leopard can’t change its spots.  But a tattoo artist could do it for him.

See that – more humour.  Geeez, I’m funny.

Like those gap teeth kids in the photo, one of my kids needs braces.  I simply don’t get $5,000 for a bit of metal on a kids teeth.  Seems excessive to me.  But my wife won’t let him be forever known as “Buck Tooth Boy”.

My daughter is the smartest one in the family by a mile.  Her intelligence is at a whole different level to everyone else.

One son is, according to his teachers, super smart but too lazy to study.  He can’t see the sense in spending his time on homework when there is a soccer ball to kick.  I agree 100% with him.

My kids are happiest when: Boys: Eating. Daughter: Reading.

My wife is happiest when 1 of 2 things happen:

• She has just done a large grocery shop and the pantry is full of food, and
• Her 3 kids are with her at dinner.

Weird.

If both things occur on the same day I usually get laid.

Humour people. Just more humour.

After writing my book I used to worry that I couldn’t be the slightest bit offensive or stupid online.  I’m over that (as you can probably tell).

I’m happiest when my wife is happy.

Happy wife, happy life.

And, in a surprise to no-one, yes, my wife does read this web site.

Kids are great when they’re that age in the photos.  Kids are great at any age.

I think this blog post has run it’s course……………………

Cheers

Brendon